Between the Two of Us
by Shezzi
Summary: "Annie?  ANNIE?  Just hold on, kiddo, they're nearly there.  Keep talking to me, Annie!" She heard Auggie's order, but it was so hard.  She was so cold, cold and tired.    H/C, Romance, Annie Whump
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My first foray into Covert Affairs, hope you all enjoy. Please review and let me know what you think! love xx Shezzi

Disclaimer: Not mine. Just playing. Go away.

"Annie? ANNIE? Just hold on, kiddo, they're almost there. Keep talking to me, Annie!"

She heard Auggie's order, but it was so hard. She was so cold, cold and tired.

"Annie? Say something, sweetheart, anything, please. Talk to me, Annie!" Auggie's voice was desperate, and Annie's heart ached.

"Auggie," she whispered, and she heard his relieved sigh in her ear. "So…cold…"

"I know, Annie, I know you're cold, just hang in there, ok? They're right outside, they'll be with you in two seconds. Just hold on for me, alright?"

"O…k…" the two letters were carried out on her exhaling breath. He listened to the harsh rasp as she breathed in again, his heart relaxing just slightly at the sound.

He could hear the extraction team now, and nodded in Joan's general direction when she asked if they were there yet.

"Annie? Annie, the team's there now. You're going to be alright. I'll be with you soon, ok? You just hold on, Annie. Hold on." He heard the crackles and rustling that signified the ear bud being removed. A moment later, someone else spoke through it.

"We've got her, Auggie. She'll be at Memorial Hospital within fifteen minutes." Jai's voice, calm and collected, came down the line. "The medics are taking care of her."

"Tell her I'll meet her there," Auggie ordered. "Then get the son of a bitch." He pulled his headphones off and set them on the desk, already fishing in his bag for his 'public', non-technological, cane.

"I've called a car around," Joan told him, even as he heard her lift his headphones. "Jai?"

He walked out of the office before he could hear anything more, heading straight for the front door as fast as he could afford to go – he was determined not to have an accident and delay himself in reaching her. He checked out of the building, unclipping his security ID and tucking it away. The driver hailed him as he came out the door, and he was soon ensconced in the passenger seat of the Suburban the Agency had courier him around.

The drive, which he knew for a fact was only five minutes, felt like it took hours. The last moments before this whole nightmare began were playing on a loop through his head, over and over again. It had been a basic brush pass, right here in Washington, and he was getting the feeling that they needed to take the 'basic' out of the name, at least as long as Annie was involved.  
_  
"I've got the package, on my way back," Annie reported, sotto voice. "I'd almost say this went too well…" Auggie was about to teasingly chastise her for jinxing it when he heard the crack of gunfire and the surprised sound Annie made as the air was driven from her lungs and she fell to the ground._

_"Annie? ANNIE? Are you alright?" Receiving no response, he immediately snapped over bandwidths, "This is Anderson, I need an emergency extraction on Walker, medical attendance required," he ordered, waited to hear confirmation and the address, then went back to Annie, who was now moaning. "Annie, help's on the way. I need you to talk to me, tell me what happened," he ordered, keeping his voice calm, soothing._

"_Wasn't…the contact. Someone else…didn't see face. Took the package. Shot me…in the back. I can't…I can't feel my legs," she admitted, her voice trembling with fear, and Auggie felt his heart break a little inside at that confession. _

"_It's going to be alright, Annie. Just stay with me, the team's on the way, they'll take care of you, and I'll be with you soon, alright? I'll bring you home, Annie Walker, I promise. Annie? Talk to me, Annie!"_

"_Told you…this was going too well," she slurred out, and he chuckled painfully. "Next time…hear the words 'simple…brush pass', I…may hurt…someone," she added. Her voice was fading towards the end. _

"_Annie? ANNIE? Just hold on, kiddo, they're almost there. Keep talking to me, Annie!" _


	2. Chapter 2

Wow, such an incredible response to the first chapter! Thanks to everyone who reviewed! Here's the next (can't promise all updates will be this speedy, though :) )

Auggie snapped out of his spiraling thoughts at the sound of the driver's voice informing him they had reached the hospital. He climbed out, telling the man to go home, he'd get a cab when he needed one (in truth he didn't expect to leave the hospital tonight).

He got through the front doors of the ER by following the loudest sounds to their source. Once inside, he pulled out his phone and started dialing Jai when he heard his name being called.

"Auggie!" Dan, one of the CIA medics he'd known for years, hailed him from over to his left, and he heard running feet. A hand on his arm served to orient him to his friend's position.

"Where is she? How is she?" demanded Auggie, trying to keep the panic in the box he had carefully maintained it inside.

"She's being taken care of," Dan said carefully. "She's been taken straight to x-ray, then she'll go to surgery.

"Can I see her?" demanded Auggie.

"Not before then, Auggie. They need to get her into surgery ASAP. The bullet…it entered very close to her spine, and she had no sensation in or control over her lower extremities when I examined her. Don't jump to any conclusions," he added, watching the emotions flash across his blind friend's face like lightening. "It may not be permanent."

"May not," Auggie repeated, remembering hearing those words bandied around the first day or so after his accident, before all the test results came in.

"They need to see the damage, and see what can be repaired. She lost a lot of blood, but the injury wasn't life threatening."

"No, just life altering," Auggie replied, frowning. "Where can I wait? I want to be here when she wakes up."

"I'll show you to the waiting room. It'll be up to you to sweet talk the nurses into letting you see…in with her," the medic bit his lip, but Auggie just nodded. "Shouldn't be that big of a challenge for you anyway," Dan added teasingly. Auggie's lips barely lifted and Dan frowned sympathetically even as he offered his arm for his friend to take and led him towards the waiting room. "The nurses' station is at your 10 o'clock from this position; there are seats along the wall at your 6 o'clock. I've gotta go, man, we're still 'on duty'. I'll talk to you soon, ok?"

"Yeah. Talk to you later," Auggie replied, waving half heartedly in his friend's general direction before heading directly to the counter and requesting an update on Annie's condition.

A couple of hours, and several cups of coffee, later, a familiar perfume, footstep and tinkling necklace entered the room.

"Joan," Auggie greeted his boss, tipping his cup towards her in an almost salute. "How goes it?"

"They got the guy," she reported softly as she sat down beside him. "Got him, and recovered the package. Not a good day by any stretch of the imagination, but not as bad as it could have been."

Auggie grunted in his throat in reply, unable to think that way when his best friend was lying on an operating table with her spine laid open by a bullet.

"How's she doing?" asked Joan then, and Auggie heard her head turn to look in the direction of the OR doors.

"She's still in surgery. All they'll say is that she's stable, or relatively so. They've had to give her a lot of blood, though. I heard them talking about it. Do you know we're the same blood type? What am I saying, of course you do." Joan didn't bother replying, knowing from experience that Auggie didn't need to talk, just decompress. "Has anyone called her sister?" he suddenly thought to ask.

"I tried. The whole family is out of town, but I tried her sister's cell, which is the only other number listed. No answer. I left an urgent message for her to call, so hopefully I'll hear back from her soon," Joan replied. "Oh, here," she pressed a cardboard cup into his hand and he took it with a grateful smile. "Hospital coffee is terrible."

"It really is," Auggie agreed. "And I think it's gotten worse with time." He took a sip of the coffee, sighing with relief as the Starbucks venti double latte hit his tongue.

They sat in silence for a time, sipping on their coffees as they waited for news.

"Family of Annie Walker?" the man who walked into the room, still dressed in scrubs, looked around carefully.

"That's us," Joan said, standing quickly. "Well, as close as you'll get right now, anyway. I'm her legal medical proxy," she drew out the paperwork that everyone at the CIA signed, this one with Annie's cover as a Smithsonian employee, showing Joan as her direct superior and emergency medical proxy.

"How is she?" demanded Auggie.

"She came through surgery well, although she had lost a lot of blood. The bullet entered her lower back, crushing several vertebrae. We've installed two plates to stabilise the spine. I'm afraid the spinal cord was severed at the level of the twelfth thoracic vertebra. I'm sorry to say that Miss Walker will not have any voluntary control of her body below that level. The bullet lodged in the spinal column, so there wasn't too much other damage, which is about the only good news we have at this point."

"Please, can I sit with her?" asked Auggie, standing and turning to look, more or less, at the surgeon.

"And you are?"

"Auggie Anderson. Best friend," he replied simply.

"As long as you don't get in the nurses' way, there won't be a problem. Sydney will show you down," he gestured over a nurse in purple scrubs. "I'll be in later to check on her, talk to her. I'll see you then."

"This way, sir," the nurse said, turning to lead the way.

"Just a minute," Auggie called softly, unfolding his cane, and made his way over to where her voice had come from. "Lead on," he told her, and followed the sound of her squeaky rubber soles down the corridor.

Soon enough he was sitting in an uncomfortable chair with a limp, cold hand held in both of his. Annie was positioned on her stomach, he knew, and her head was turned towards him, or so the nurse had told him when she sat him there.

He sat, holding her hand, stroking it, turning it over and over and learning every line, every inch of skin. He found a small scar at the base of her thumb that he traced over and over, murmuring softly to her the whole time. He didn't talk about anything much, just soft, fairly nonsensical murmurings. The nurses moved around them, adjusting machines and checking readouts.

It was about half an hour later when Annie moaned softly.

"Annie? Hey, can you hear me?"

"'gie? Tha' oo?"

Auggie had to chuckle softly at Annie's groggy voice, even if the sound was closer to a sob than anything else. "Yeah, Annie. I'm here." Freeing one hand he reached for the button one of the nurses had set beside his hand for this exact reason and quickly pressed it, summoning them to the room, then turned all of his attention back to the person how was now squeezing his own hand back, just a little bit. "How are you feeling?"

"Drugged," she drawled out, and he had to admit, at lease privately, that she sounded stoned. "Wha' happened?"

"What do you remember?" he temporised, uncertain how to approach the facts of her injuries.

"Dunno," she mumbled, and he thought she might be falling asleep again, her hand going lax in his once more.

He heard fast footsteps approaching, and a nurse stopped beside him. "Nice to see you back with us, Miss Walker. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Annie muttered. "My back hurts...why does my back hurt?" her hand was gripping Auggie's tighter now, and her voice sounded clearer as adrenalin started pumping through her system, clearing the cobwebs left behind by the anaesthetic.

"Just stay calm, Miss Walker. You need to stay still." Auggie gripped Annie's hand, trying not to scowl at the nurse's patronising tone.

"Calm down, Annie, it's alright," he whispered softly, reaching a hand up to her head and stroking her hair gently. "It's alright," he lied again. She clung to his hand, her breath coming in short, sharp pants. "I'm here. You're safe."

"I'm tired, Auggie," she whispered, her voice fading again.

"You sleep then, Annie. I'll be here when you wake up. Just sleep." Auggie pressed a kiss to her hand. "I'll be here," he whispered almost soundlessly as he heard her breathing slow once more. He laid his head next to her hand and breathed in her scent. Under the hospital smells he could still detect the faintest hint of her trademark perfume.

He fell asleep at some point, his head lying next to her hand, which was still clutched in his like a lifeline.


	3. Chapter 3

He came back to consciousness with a start when something touched his head. He jerked back, disoriented, and it took him a moment to remember where he was.

"Annie?" he whispered, and received a grunt in response.

"S'ry. You didn' wake up." Annie paused, gathering her strength, then continued. "I remember now, Auggie. And I still can't feel my legs. What did the doctor say?" Annie sounded almost like her normal self as she demanded answers, only a slight quiver in her voice revealing her true emotions.

Auggie froze for half an instant, but he had already made up his mind the night before that he wouldn't lie to her. He would be there for her, support her, and he would answer any question she had to the best of his ability. "The bullet severed your spine at the T12 vertebra," he told her simply. "They said you...you won't have any voluntary control of your body below that point."

"What's the cover story?" she asked softly. Auggie knew she was compartmentalizing, one part of her denying her condition while another worked on what needed to be done. He recognized that all too well – he'd done it himself, post Tikrit.

"Simple mugging. Same location. He shot you in the back, took your money and cards and ran off. Joan's taking care of it."

"Mmmhmm…so if I just claim not to remember anything, that'll fit in well?"

"That'll be fine," he replied, squeezing her hand gently.

"The package?" she asked softly.

"We got it back," he replied softly, his heart squeezing as he listened to her shut down more and more. He'd never heard Annie sound quite like this, although he wondered if this wasn't how she had been directly post her time in Sri Lanka, the time she had alluded to once or twice when truly drunk but never actually expounded on.

"Has anyone called Danielle?" she asked softly, a slight catch in her voice, one he'd heard once or twice. She was on the verge of tears.

"Joan left a message, just asking her to call. As far as I know, she hasn't heard back yet."

"What time is it?" asked Annie. "For that matter, what day is it?"

Auggie reached for his watch and depressed the button on the side. "5:47 am, Thursday," the watch reported in its mechanical voice.

"You should get some more sleep," Auggie told her softly, squeezing her hand. "It's early and you lost a lot of blood last night."

"Yeah," she replied, her voice fading slowly. "Don't leave," she whispered as she dropped off, her hand clinging to his.

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9AM, DCS Offices, Langley

"Are you happy now?" Joan spat at her husband as she slammed the door of his office behind her. "Because of your stupid game with Ben Mercer, one of my best officers has a severed spinal cord. Are you happy now, Arthur?"

Arthur sighed. He'd been waiting for this since he heard about the massive sideways leap Walker's latest mission had taken.

"Of course I'm not happy. The girl was a good officer…"

"Is. Was and will be again. Your game playing got her into this, so you are going to find a way to keep her here. Her skills, even if she isn't up for field work, will be invaluable. You found a way to make Auggie useful, Annie's as highly trained as he is."

"And Mercer would still have a reason to come around…" mused her husband. Joan gave an exasperated exclamation. "Come up with a job description, I'll sign off on it."

She accepted it as all she was going to get. He wasn't going to admit he was wrong,

"Just think: Between the two of them, you'll have one whole officer," offered Arthur. The look Joan gave him would have dropped a rampaging elephant in its tracks.

"I don't think I'll be home tonight," she said coldly. "I'll talk to you later."

As she was walking down the hall, her second cell phone rang. This was the one she had called Annie's sister from, the one she used when she was interacting with her agent's families as their boss. "Hello?" she answered it, her voice smooth and professional, no sign of the anger she was feeling.

"Hello. My name is Danielle Brooks, I was left a message to call this number?"

"Yes, Mrs Brooks, of course. My name is Joan Campbell; I'm Annie Walker's superior here at the Smithsonian. I'm afraid I've got some bad news. Annie was attacked last night while coming back from a meeting."

"Oh my god, is she alright?" the voice at the other end of the line held shock and fear.

"She's alive. She was shot; she's in Washington Memorial Hospital. She came out of surgery well, but I think you should hear the details of her condition from a medical professional."

"Yes…of course…and I'll need to get the insurance papers and everything organized…"

"I've already taken care of that. I'm your sister's legal medical proxy, didn't she tell you? It's standard procedure when we have employees who frequent other countries, means we have someone who is always reachable who can make the medical and legal calls."

"Oh…right…ok…" it sounded like the news was really starting to set in. A moment later, the other end of the phone fell silent, then there was some rustling as someone else took it.

"Hello, this is Michael Brooks, could you please let Annie know we'll be back in town as soon as possible, hopefully within the next six hours."

"I'll pass the message along, Mr. Brooks."

"Thank you. And thank you for getting in touch with us. We'll probably see you at the hospital."

"I'm sure you will," Joan replied before they both hung up. She debated calling Auggie, but didn't want to get him in trouble for using his cell phone in the hospital, and besides, she needed to blow off some steam, and heading over to the hospital sounded like the perfect way to do so.

She was walking down the hall toward Annie's room when she was hailed from behind, and turned to find herself face to face with the surgeon from the previous night.

"Ms. Campbell, just in time. I'm about to examine Miss Walker, just to determine that the damage isn't more extensive than we currently believe, so that we know for sure exactly which way to go from here."

"Are you able to give me any idea of what that might be before we go in there?" she lowered her voice as she asked, not wanting the occupant of the room to overhear this particular conversation.

"With a T12 complete spinal injury, there will not be any sensation or control of her body below that point. Tests will confirm this, but she should still have reasonable control of her trunk and lower abdomen, and full use of her hands. But, as I told you last night, she won't be walking again."

Joan nodded and turned to lead the way into the room. She bit her lip to keep from laughing at the sight that met her eyes. Auggie was slumped in a chair next to the bed, bent forwards and face planted on the mattress next to where Annie's hand was clasped in his. "Let me," she told the doctor and walked up beside him, deliberately clicking her heels loudly, and stopped just outside of his considerable reach. "August Anderson!" she snapped in a harsh whisper, perfected for cutting through the exhausted slumber her favourite tech was all too good at falling into at his desk late at night, a serious problem when he still woke up the way any spec ops agent did when startled – violently.

Auggie woke, his head shooting off his hands, then, swiveling towards them. "Joan. What time is it?"

"Just after 9:30," Joan replied. "Think you can wake Annie up?"

"Annie," Auggie called softly, squeezing her hand gently and raising his other to stroke her hair. "Annie, it's time to wake up now."

Annie groaned, her eyelids fluttering, then opened slowly to show tired, pain filled green orbs. "Hey Auggie," she muttered, then turned her head slightly further. "Joan."

"Annie," Joan said warmly, well versed in keeping pity out of her voice. "How are you feeling?"

"Tired. Sore," she replied with a slight wince.

"Miss Walker, I'm Doctor Simon Jordan, I operated on you last night. How much do you remember about what happened?"

"Nothing after I left the meeting, actually," Annie replied as the doctor stepped into her line of vision.

"Okay. Well, as you've probably realized, you were mugged. Your assailant shot you in the back. It entered just to the left of your spine, at the level of the T12 vertebra, on an angle and ripped through your spinal column, transecting the cord before it lodged in the opposite side of the vertebrae. There was complete dissection of the spinal cord at that point, as well as serious damage to several of the surrounding vertebrae. We inserted several plates and pins to stabilise your spine. I'd like to perform a couple of basic tests now to determine that everything is as we would expect it to be, that there isn't more damage that we aren't seeing."

Annie attempted to nod and winced as the pain in her back flared. "Ok," she gritted out, gripping Auggie's hand tightly as the pain rode itself out in waves. He squeezed back gently, and she forced her fingers to relax.

"I'm going to run this up your legs," he told her, holding a wheel with short spikes sticking out of it in front of her face. "I want you to tell me when you start to feel it, alright?" Again, Annie mumbled her agreement. She felt the sheet lift away from her back, and for the first time was struck with what it truly meant not to feel her legs – she didn't feel the pressure of the bedclothes as it left them. She bit her lip, blinking hard against tears, and waited. And waited. Unable to turn her head any further to see what was going on, she was getting quite frustrated when she felt a slight sting on the right side of her lower back, right beside the burning pain that was growing steadily now that it had her attention.

"There," she said, and the sting stopped, quickly fading away. "Now the other side," the doctor told her, quickly repeating the process and getting much the same result. "Okay. Now, I'm going to take your hands," he moved to the top of the bed and took her free hand in his then reached out for the one Auggie was currently holding, waiting for her to come to him. "I want to you squeeze as tightly as you can. Okay, that's good. Now, furl and unfurl your fingers. Very good. Can you feel this?" He laid both of her hands on the mattress again, and gently pressed the tip of a ballpoint against the end of each finger.

"Yes," Annie replied each time.

"That's good. Excellent, in fact. I'll be back in to check on you later, and to discuss exactly where we need to go next, but for now, get some rest. I'll send a nurse in with some pain meds." He took the chart from the end of the bed and started making notes as he headed back out the door.

Joan moved so that Annie could see her without craning her neck at a painful angle. "Annie, Danielle called me back, she and Michael want you to know that they'll be back here as soon as possible, hopefully within the next six or so hours. I didn't tell her your diagnosis, I thought that was something best heard in person from a medical professional."

"Thanks," Annie managed a weak smile. "Auggie, you should go home, get some rest. They're just going to knock me out again anyway," she squeezed her friend's hand when he started to protest. "You're not going to be any use to anyone if you make yourself sick or hurt yourself because you're too tired to take care of yourself, now are you?"

"I can give you a lift back to your place," Joan offered, and saw something in Annie's face relax just slightly. She had a feeling that, as much as the younger blonde cared for the blind technician, she needed some time alone, time to grieve in private. And that was something Joan could and would give her.

A nurse appeared in the door, carrying a tray with a syringe and vial carefully laid out on it. She smiled at Joan and Annie. "Here we go, Miss Walker," she said, setting the tray on the small table beside the bed. "This will help you feel better." She quickly injected the painkiller into her IV line, and Annie felt the pain start to slip away, along with her grip on consciousness. "Auggie, go home. I'll see you later," she squeezed his fingers gently, and he nodded in acquiescence.

"I'll be back soon," he told her softly, leaning in and pressing a light kiss to her fingers. "Sleep well."

Joan stepped up and put a hand on her shoulder for a moment, then nodded and left the room. Annie waited until she was sure they were gone, then she let go of the walls that were holding back her emotions, walls she had learnt and constructed long ago. Tears slipped silently down her cheeks, one or two, then a steady flow, then a flood. She carefully controlled her breathing to keep it from setting off the machines, not wanting anyone to witness her weakness. She was losing the battle with unconsciousness. She finally dropped off, the tears slowing and drying on her face, leaving a few tell tale streaks of salt behind, if anyone was looking for them.


	4. Chapter 4

Auggie slumped down onto his couch, a cold beer bottle clutched in one hand, turning its cap over and over in the fingers of the other as he thought about Annie. He remembered, all too vividly, his own time in the hospital, and rehab, and all of the adjustments he had had to make. His landlord, a vet of the Gulf War, had offered to have Auggie's apartment renovated as necessary, but with the open plan of the loft and Auggie's existing spatial awareness of the place it hadn't been necessary.

Annie was going to have to find a place with wheelchair access, not just disabled access entrances but an apartment designed for someone in a chair – low benches, sinks, the whole nine yards. He knew there were actually a couple of apartments in this building that were converted that way, although he didn't know if any of them were vacant at the moment. He stopped himself suddenly, then shook his head, laughing hollowly.

"Getting way ahead of yourself, Auggie," he muttered. "Get her through the next couple of days first, and then the ones that come after that." He finished his beer and, throwing it in the trash so he wouldn't forget and leave it on the table to knock over later, then shuffled sleepily into his bedroom and collapsed, setting his alarm to wake him up in four hours so that he could hopefully get back to the hospital just before Annie's family.

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Annie slept for most of the day, waking every so often, roused by the nurses who would ask her a few questions, mostly about how much pain she was in, give her more medication, then leave again.

She was lying half asleep when she heard the steady tapping in the hallway, too slow for a pair of high heels, and her eyes opened slightly to watch the door. "Auggie," she smiled slightly as he came into the room. She was feeling slightly high at the moment, courtesy of her most recent pain medication, and she almost giggled at the sight of him.

"Hey, Annie, how are you feeling?" he asked softly.

"'m okay. Seat's at your…ten o'clock." Auggie found the seat where he had left it, not that he told her that, and sat, reaching a hand out for her if she wanted to take it. She did, squeezing it firmly as she looked at him, not speaking. Her mood was shifting once more, and she was starting to feel a bit down again.

"How are you doing?" he asked softly after a couple of minutes of silence.

"I…I don't know," she replied, shifting her head uncomfortably on her pillow. "I don't think it's really sunk in yet," she admitted. "I'm not sure what's going to happen when it does." She licked her lips. "Could you call the nurse? I'd like to get a drink of water," she requested.

"Of course," Auggie replied. "Where's the button?"

"It's hanging on the railing to your left, just out of my reach," Annie replied, frustration lacing her tone.

Auggie's heart squeezed at the pained tone in her voice. He found the button and pressed it, then moved it significantly closer to her hand.

"Thank you," she whispered, squeezing his fingers.

A nurse appeared in the doorway a moment later. "Can I help you?" she asked.

"Can I have some water, please?" Annie asked.

"I'll need to check your chart, Miss Walker. I think you may be NPO – that's nothing by mouth, food or drink wise, at the moment, because they're going to want to operate again soon," the nurse replied regretfully.

"What do you mean? No one's said anything about another operation," Annie objected, frowning.

"You'll need to take that up with the doctor, I'm afraid," the nurse said, looking and sounding decidedly uncomfortable.

"Can I have a drink?" she asked again, and the nurse took the chart off the end of her bed and examined it.

"I'm sorry," she said, replacing the chart. "I'll ask the doctor to stop by and explain."

Annie swallowed hard. Her mouth was so dry, all she wanted was some water to wet the parched tissues. "Can I just have some water to rinse my mouth out? Please?"

"If you spit it back out, yes, I can arrange that," the nurse replied after a moment. "I'll be right back." She stepped out into the hall and returned a moment later with a plastic cup and straw and a kidney dish. "Here we go." She set both up on the edge of the pillow and placed the straw between Annie's lips before she could move to do so herself. "Now, remember not to swallow," the nurse directed, just as Annie was about to do just that. It was such a reflexive action. Instead, she carefully swirled the water around in her mouth, then moved her head away from the straw and spat into the dish the nurse was holding. She repeated the process several times before her mouth began to feel less like a part of the Sahara desert.

"Thanks," she smiled weakly at the nurse.

"I'll get the doctor to come by and speak to you," the other woman promised, and Annie made an affirmative noise.

"Feel better?" asked Auggie softly.

"Yeah, a bit. My mouth doesn't feel like it's going to be annexed by the Sahara desert any time soon anymore, anyway."

Auggie chuckled at that, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. He was about to say something else when a familiar set of footsteps approached the door, pausing outside. "Don't look now, but it looks like you merit a visit from CIA royalty," he joked softly. "Hi Jai, why don't you come on in?" he called over his shoulder.

The dark skinned man entered the room, holding a colourful bouquet in a cut crystal vase. He looked less than comfortable, fiddling with one of the blooms as he moved over to the bed, his smile uncertain. "Hi, Annie," he offered softly. "How are you doing?"

"I'm okay," she replied. "Those are beautiful, thank you," she added, taking in the flowers.

"I'll put them here, where you can see them," he said softly, setting them down on a bench against the wall within her line her sight.

"So, what do the doctors say?" he asked, pulling up a chair beside the bed. "How long…" Auggie's foot connected with the side of his leg, and he started with surprise, breaking off his question.

"Joan didn't tell you," Auggie stated flatly.

"No, but she's been walking around with a chip on her shoulder the size of Texas all day," Jai replied. "I tried to ask, but she almost ripped my head off, then gave me scut work for the rest of the day."

Annie bit her lip. She couldn't bring herself to name it, to tell this guy, who flirted shamelessly but was gentleman enough to tell her to take her time, what had been done to her. It didn't seem real, and as long as she didn't say it out loud, she didn't have to consider it real. She squeezed Auggie's hand tighter, wishing that he could see her, read what her eyes were saying.

Auggie squeezed her fingers back gently, as though to say 'I got this one, Annie,' and turned his head towards Jai. "The bullet severed her spinal cord at the level of T12," he told the other man.

"Oh…well, that makes a couple of things make more sense," he said slowly. "She had me spend the day finding out the best disabled access options for the DPD and organizing maintenance to install them, said they'd probably need at least a six-month lead in to get it done. Well, there isn't really that much to do, there's already ramps up to the half level, but we've got to move the desks further apart, which means unbolting them from the floor, check and adjust door handle height, a few other things," Jai explained.

"What?" Annie demanded, her eyes narrowing and forehead creasing as she frowned.

"They're setting up the department for you," Jai spelled out.

Annie felt something crack inside her at that. A tear slipped down her cheek as she thought about everything that statement said. One – the CIA still wanted her to work for them. Two – This was her future. Disabled entrances, ramps and dinky little wheelchair elevators, being dependent on others in a world built for people with legs that worked…like hers didn't. "Get out," she whispered as she felt more tears start to fill her eyes. "Get out. Leave me alone," she ordered, then turned her face into her pillow, letting it soak up her tears once more. She didn't want them to see this, to see her be weak. Her shoulders shook as she heard retreating footsteps on the linoleum floor, then a warm hand took hers and lifted it, holding it to a stubble covered cheek with gentle strength, denying her attempts to free it.

"Just cry, Annie. It's alright, you cry as much as you need to," Auggie whispered gently. She felt him kneel by the bed from the change of the position of her hand, then his other hand was resting on her hair, stroking it, and down her back. "You don't have to be strong for me, Annie. I've been there, remember? It's alright, you just cry." He pressed a soft kiss into the palm of the hand that was against his cheek, then just sat quietly with her, rubbing her head and neck, occasionally murmuring soft reassurances and gentle nonsense.

They stayed like that until Auggie heard a voice down the hall asking for directions to Annie Walker's room.

"Annie, I think your sister's here," he said softly, moving carefully back to sit on the chair but not relinquishing his grip on her hand, although he did shift to holding it in his lap instead of to his face, and his other hand shifting to hold it as well. Annie sniffed hard, the tears having stopped a couple of minutes ago except for the occasional aftershock sob, and wiped her face on the pillowcase.

"Can you turn my pillow over for me? If you can't, that's ok, I'll get a nurse to do it," she assured him quickly.

"I think that might be better; while I'm sure I could turn the pillow, I'm not sure how much we should move your head in order to accomplish that." Before they could pursue that conversation any further, several people entered the room at once.

"Annie!" Auggie listened to the fast footsteps of the woman who had to be Annie's older sister, which Annie confirmed for him a moment later.

"Danielle!" he could hear the fake note in the happiness, but he didn't think her sister noticed, because she didn't call her on it and from what Annie had told him about her, she would have. "Michael."

"Annie, what happened? We got the call and rushed straight down, we just stopped to drop the girls off at the sitters because we weren't sure you would be up for visitors. What happened?" Danielle was almost babbling the words flowed out of her so fast, and Annie didn't quite get everything but she caught the question and tried to figure out how to answer it.

"I…got shot," she told her sister.

"Shot? How?"

"With a gun," she snapped, getting annoyed at Danielle's tone of voice. She knew her sister was worried about her, but at the moment she was making a very easy and attractive target out of herself.

Auggie, sensing danger, squeezed her hand gently, trying to ground her. He knew the rapid pendulum shifts that moods could make at times like this, from happy to grief stricken to angry and bitter, and he didn't want her to drive her sister away in a fit of unprovoked anger.

"Sorry, Dani, you didn't deserve that," Annie said after a moment. "I was leaving a meeting and apparently got shot from behind. I don't actually remember that part, although they've already caught the guy who did it."

"So, what do the doctors say?" Danielle asked quickly. "I mean, it's not too bad, is it? You're awake, mostly, and talking, so it can't be too bad…"

Annie bit her lip, hearing the painful hope in her sister's voice. "Ummm…" before she had to be the one to break her sister's bubble, someone else spoke up.

"Perhaps I would be best to take that question," Auggie recognized the voice as that of her surgeon, and figured he must have finally had time to answer the nurse's summons. He quickly introduced himself to Danielle and her husband, Michael, then continued. "The bullet entered Annie's back right next to her spine, on an angle, and smashed through one side of the spinal column and severed the cord before lodging against the vertebrae on the other side."

"Severed…you mean…" Danielle's voice trailed off, her eyes and mouth both wide with shock.

"I'm afraid so," the doctor replied. "Now, I need to have a talk with Annie about where we go from here. The surgery last night stabilised her spine, but there are other things that need to be taken into consideration." He moved so he was standing behind Auggie, clearly within Annie's line of sight. "Would you be more comfortable if we had this conversation in private, Annie?" he asked gently, the compassion on his face clear and undemanding, prepared to go with whatever she wanted.

What Annie really wanted was for Michael and Danielle to leave and Auggie to stay, but she didn't know how to say that without upsetting her sister, so she opted for them all to stay. "Go ahead, Doc," she told him, forcing the corners of her mouth up in a slight smile.

"Okay, as I was saying, we stabilised your spine last night, but there are other things that we need to do, and the sooner they get done, the better. Do you know what a colostomy is?"

"Yes," Annie replied, blushing slightly and wishing that she had requested privacy after all.

"Well, we need to organize to do one sooner rather than later. There are several options that I'll discuss with you later. We also need to perform a similar technique on your bladder, called a Mitrofanoff. I know this is a lot to take in, Annie, but the sooner we do this, the sooner your body will be able to adjust, and the sooner you'll be able to start physical therapy and get your independence back."

"Yeah," Annie replied tiredly, feeling her energy start to flag once more. "I understand."

"Looks like you're going out on us again. That's alright. I'll schedule the procedures for tomorrow afternoon, and I'll be by in the morning to walk you through everything, alright?"

Annie made a tired sound of agreement, and he nodded once more before leaving the room. Danielle was in shock, clinging to her husband's arms as she stared at her sister, trying to figure out how to cope with this and how to help her sister.

"Dani," Annie freed her hand from Auggie's for a moment and reached for her sister, who stepped forward to take it. "It'll be alright," Annie told her, and a half laugh, half sob exploded from her throat. "I'm really tired, so why don't you two go and get the girls and get home, take care of them. I'll be here in the morning."

"Are you sure?" Danielle asked, studying her sister's face closely. "I don't mind staying the night, if you want."

"No, the girls will need you at home. And you'll need to explain to them, at least a bit, before they come in. And I'd like to see them soon." She yawned mightily.

"Okay then, Annie. I'll see you tomorrow," she pressed a kiss against her sister's cheek.

"I'll see you soon, Annie," said Michael, pressing a hand to her shoulder briefly before escorting his wife from the room. Annie returned her hand to Auggie's, who was sitting with a contemplative look on his face.

"So…" he said slowly. "He just dumped a whole lot of stuff and ran, anything you want to talk about?"

"It's just becoming more…real, I guess," she muttered, shifting her head slightly on the pillow. She grabbed the button and buzzed for a nurse. Her neck was killing her from turning to the side all day, she wasn't used to sleeping on her stomach, and the pillow was soaked with her tears. A nurse popped her head in a moment later, while Annie was still trying to formulate what she wanted to say.

"What do you need, dear?" the middle-aged woman asked with a gentle smile, admiring the picture the clearly devoted young couple made. She'd heard several of the other nurses talking about them, how sad their situation was, him blind, her now paralysed, and how devoted he clearly was to her.

"I was wondering if I could get turned off my front, and if you could help me turn my pillow over please," Annie requested politely. She hated asking for help, wishing she had the strength to at least try for herself, but she was just too tired and worn out.

"Of course, I'll just have to find someone else to help with that. I'll be back in a minute."

"I'm proud of you," Auggie leaned in to whisper, smiling gently. "Asking for help is hard." Annie just squeezed his fingers, too physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted to formulate an actual response, and they sat in comfortable silence.

The nurse returned a few moments later with a guy and they gently rolled her onto her side so that she was facing Auggie, carefully drawing her knees into a gentle bend to support the position, and, rather than turning the pillow, replaced it and sent the other out to be cleaned.

"Thanks," Annie mumbled, smiling sleepily at them. "Sorry, Auggie, I'm going out again. You should go home, an afternoon nap doesn't make up for a night of missed sleep."

Auggie reluctantly agreed, and pressed a kiss to her cheek before bidding her goodnight and leaving the room, switching out the light for her on his way past. He made a note to himself to get her something on his way in tomorrow, something to make her smile.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: My portrayal of Lily the night nurse is actually based upon a paediatrics night nurse my brother had when he was having chemo. She did everything I said and more – my older sister made up a song about her the next day with my brother's help. A very, very mocking song.

Present buying was difficult, Auggie decided, when you couldn't see exactly what you were getting. He needed to get just the right thing for Annie, so he was walking around a small gift boutique, trying to find something special that would make her smile. He'd gotten home by 8pm the night before, ordered in, and by 9:30 had collapsed into bed, sleeping nine hours straight.

Now, it was 9am, visiting hours started in half an hour, and he needed a gift.

"Can I help you, sir?" asked a soft voice that he quickly categorized. Female, middle aged, light footfalls so not overweight, perfume but not overpowering, a soft, alto voice.

"I'm looking for a gift," he said slowly, trying to figure out what he wanted into words. "A friend's in the hospital and I want something that will make her smile," he said, thinking he could probably work from there.

"Anything in particular you were looking for?" asked the woman.

Auggie frowned thoughtfully, then something struck him. "Actually, I know just the thing…"

CA AA CA AA CA AA CA AA

Annie had not had a good night. The noises in the hospital kept waking her up, she couldn't get comfortable on her side so ended up getting turned onto her back, she hurt and she was so thirsty! She wanted to toss and turn, the way she always did at home to get to sleep, moving around until her body had decided enough was enough and knocked itself out, but it wasn't possible, and nothing else seemed to be working. And on top of that, it seemed like almost every time she was nodding off, her night nurse 'just call me Lily, luv,' wandering into the room with her massive square flashlight, banging the door open so that it hit the wall, bumping into the bed and shining the light directly in her face.

As a result, she hadn't gotten much sleep. It was now eight thirty in the morning, and she could hear the hospital really start to wake up, an orderly delivering breakfast to several of the surrounding rooms and more people were starting to make their way down the halls.

Her first 'visitor' for the day didn't exactly raise her mood any, either. Doctor Jordan had come in and walked her carefully and patiently through the two procedures he proposed for the afternoon, exactly what they would mean and why they were the best options. She was going to undergo a procedure called a Mitrofanoff, a bladder reconstruction that would allow her to catheterize herself through a stoma in her lower abdomen, and a colostomy that would allow her to decide when to catheterize herself to rid her body of faecal matter, also using a stoma in her lower abdomen. It would mean no constant wearing and emptying of a colostomy bag, but rather irrigating the bowel once a day to excrete the waste into a specially designed sleeve.

While it was something of a relief to know what was happening and what it would mean for the future, all of this was really too much for her to take on her own in her current state of pained exhaustion.

She lay back against her pillow, closing her eyes and trying to convince her exhausted brain to shut down. And it finally, finally complied. As she slipped over the edge into blissful unconsciousness, Annie breathed a soft sigh of relief.

Auggie came down the corridor, his cane tapping lightly on the linoleum, towards Annie's room.

"Can I help you, sir?" asked a pleasant if slightly officious sounding voice from, if his memory served him correctly, the nurse's station.

"That's alright, thanks, I know where I'm going," he replied over his shoulder as he continued on down the hall. He reached the door, read the Braille lettering on the sign to double check, then let himself into her room quietly, not knowing if she was awake or asleep.

He paused inside the door after letting it close silently behind him, and heard her soft, even breathing. Asleep then. He found the seat, fortunately still where he had left it, and sat down beside her, setting his gift carefully under the chair and extracting a book from his satchel he settled down to read and wait for her to wake up.

When she finally did wake it was with a pained groan almost two hours later.

"Hey, sleeping beauty," Auggie murmured. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," she lied, but he just chuckled.

"Liar. Do you need me to get the nurse?"

"I've already buzzed," she replied, then stretched out her hand towards him, wanting to feel the warm clasp of his fingers. As soon as her hand brushed his sleeve, he took it and gave it a gentle squeeze.

"How was your night?" he asked softly.

She shook her head slightly, the movement translating down the muscles of her arm, and replied, "Not good. Couldn't really sleep."

"Which, when combined with massive doses of painkillers, explains the sleepfest this morning," he said jokingly. They were briefly interrupted then by a nurse answering the page, who quickly got Annie some more painkillers and muttered something about a PCA IV machine hopefully becoming available soon.

"Oh, I got you something," Auggie said, smiling slightly as he reached under the chair, "Close your eyes, I forgot to get it gift wrapped," he ordered, and Annie complied. Auggie brought out his present and, releasing his grip on her hand to turn it palm up, put in down in the middle. "There," he said, and her eyes opened, curious.

Annie felt the soft fur of the gift Auggie deposited on her hand and wondered what he had done. She opened her eyes when he gave permission and found herself staring into the mournful glass gaze of a puppy sized stuffed…St Bernard.

She stared at it for a minute in silence, then the sound he had been hoping for bubbled out – Annie Walker's pure, infectious laughter.

"Because they're cute and dependable and when you're feeling low…"

"They bring you booze," she finished the quote with him, still giggling. "Thanks, Auggie, I needed that."

"So, have you seen the doctor yet this morning?" asked Auggie gently once the laughter had died down and the toy put aside within easy reach.

"Ummm, yeah. He's scheduled the surgery for 1pm, he said it takes a couple of hours. And Dani should be here soon, too," she added, glancing at the door. "I think she's probably trying to pack some stuff for me and freaking out about what to bring. At least, if she's running true to form that's what she's doing."

Auggie just nodded.

"What are you reading?" asked Annie, glancing at the book in his lap.

"Of Mice and Men. It's an old favourite," he explained, closing the book gently to preserve the Braille pages.

"Good taste," she smiled. "I always loved that book."

They spent the time between then and Danielle's arrival half an hour later in simple small talk, exchanging details like favourite authors, books, anything that had somehow avoided coming up around the office, over comms or during one of their many long nights at the Tavern.

When Danielle arrived, she set down a large bag that had Annie muttering an almost completely silent "I told you so," under her breath that had Auggie trying not to snort with laughter.

"I'm sorry, I don't think we've been introduced," Danielle said, noticing the cute, if slightly disheveled, man sitting by her sister's bed holding her hand.

"I'm Auggie, I work at the Smithsonian with Annie, well, I'm in legal, but…" he smiled in Danielle's general direction, extending his hand to shake. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Danielle, I've heard a lot about you."

"Well, thank you. And who's this?" Danielle had found the St Bernard and picked it up, turning it to face her. "He's cute."

"Cujo," Annie replied, and this time Auggie did burst out laughing. "Never mind, inside joke," Annie told her sister, who nodded wisely.

"So, the doctor scheduled your surgery?" asked Danielle. "I'm sorry I didn't get here earlier, the girls were monstrous this morning, so I didn't get to pack your things until after I dropped them at school, and…well, anyway. What time have they booked it for?"

"1pm, but he said they'll come and get me around 12 for prepping," Annie replied. "What time is it, anyway?"

"Almost half past eleven," Auggie replied after a moment, having flipped his watch face open and run sensitive fingers over the hands. Annie felt butterflies flutter in her stomach.

"Wow, I must have slept longer than I thought," was all she said, but her hand tightened on his, and he squeezed it back. "Shouldn't you be at work?" she asked him suddenly.

"Joan organized for me to take some leave," he replied evenly.

"Mmmhmm…you realize that nothing is going to be where it belongs when you get back," she mocked him gently, and he grinned.

"So, Danielle, that's a rather massive bag, care to share on what you brought?"

"I couldn't figure out exactly what you would want," her sister admitted. "There's some clothes, books, your laptop and some DVD's. I'll set it all up for you later, but for now," she reached into her handbag. "The girls made this for you."

Annie took the crayon drawing, biting her lip and smiling at the same time at her sister.

"What is it?" asked Auggie curiously.

"It's a picture. I think it's supposed to be me," Annie was studying the picture carefully. "Yellow hair, anyway, and I'd assume that's the girls. I think we're at the park."

Auggie chuckled softly. "Definitely beats my gift hands down," he declared. Annie chuckled and squeezed his hand gently.

Danielle opened the bag and started pulling out books and DVD's, putting them on a small shelf at the side of the room, and she set Annie's laptop on the small over bed table. "I brought you some toiletries as well, thought you might like the opportunity to brush your hair and teeth. I can even wash your hair later, if you like."

"Thanks," Annie replied, lifting a hand to touch the lank, dirty hair around her face. "That'd be good."

A nurse and a pair of orderlies appeared in the doorway then. "Okay, Miss Walker, it's time to get you down to pre-op," the nurse smiled.

Annie felt a thrill of fear, but she forced it down. She knew exactly what was going to happen, and that there was nothing to be afraid of. Auggie stood out of his chair and, running his hand up her arm to cup her cheek in his palm, pressed a soft kiss to her forehead. "I'll be here when you wake up," he promised softly, before stepping carefully out of the orderlies' way, trailing a hand along the back of the chair until he was tucked into a corner of the wall.

Once the orderlies had transferred her onto a gurney and wheeled her out of the room, Danielle made her way over to Auggie.

"I wanted to thank you for being here for her," she told him.

"I had a lot of good people there for me, after my injury," he told her simply as he unfolded his cane. "She's my best friend. How could I do any less for her? I thought I might go and get some lunch in the cafeteria while she's in surgery, would you like to join me?" He offered a charming smile. "I wouldn't mind hearing a story or two about what Annie got up to as a child…"


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Point of interest: it helps to take your keyboard out of Arabic mode before trying to write English. It really, really does. Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed and let me know what they think of this story! It means a lot to know it's being enjoyed. I'm REALLY busy so I don't have time to respond to all of them, but I treasure them all! Love xx Shezzi

Annie woke slowly, her eyelids heavy and mouth feeling like the Sahara had given up on annexation and simply invaded.

"Annie? Can you hear me? I need you to open your eyes, now," an unfamiliar voice was speaking to her gently but demandingly. With a supreme effort of will, she forced her eyes to open, blinking several times to focus them. A vaguely familiar male face was hovering above hers, and a soft smile crossed it when their eyes met. "There you are, Annie. How are you feeling?"

"Okay," she replied, forcing her eyelids to stay up. "Tired."

"That's okay, you can go back to sleep now. Just relax. When you wake up, you'll be back in your room."

Her eyes drifted shut once more, and the black wall of unconsciousness descended on her brain.

Auggie sat alone beside Annie's bed once more and waited for her to wake up. Danielle, after sharing more than one fascinating (and hilarious) story about her sister, had had to go and collect her daughters from school before they decided to reenact some of their favourite aunt's childhood antics.

Annie had been brought back down from surgery thirty minutes before, and she hadn't woken up yet. The nurses assured him that she would when she was ready, although she would be groggy for a while.

He sat and read, listening to her steady breathing, and waited.

It was fifteen minutes later when her breathing changed. He quickly put aside the adventures of George and Lennie and, running a hand over the blanket to her arm, quickly claimed her hand once more. He was getting used to this, to holding her hand. He liked the feel of it in his hands, so dainty, warm but not sweaty, pulsing with the life of his best friend. It was as close as he could get to seeing her, and it gave him an anchor that told him she was alright, and he liked to think it gave her at least a little comfort.

"Annie?" he asked softly. "Can you hear me?"

"Heeey, Auggie…" she slurred, and Auggie didn't bother trying to smother a grin. He knew that Annie more than likely would not remember much of the next few hours, and wished he had the foresight his own sister had possessed. She still had tapes somewhere of him slurring out nursery rhymes and song lyrics while under the influence of anaesthetic.

"How are you feeling, Annie?""

"Thirsty," Annie whispered.

"Okay, well the nurses said you could have some ice chips when you woke up, so I'll just buzz them to bring some," he told her, locating the call button and quickly pressing it.

"Thaank you, Auuuuggie," Annie slurred. "You always take care of me."

"And I always will, Annie," he promised quietly. A nurse came through the door a moment later.

"What can I do for you, dear?" she asked, smiling brightly to see Annie awake as she moved to check the status of the various pieces of machinery clustered around the head of the bed.

"Thiiiiirsty," Annie drawled out.

"Could we get some ice chips, please?" Auggie asked with a gentle smile in, he assumed, the nurse's direction.

"Of course. Let's just sit you up a bit here first, dear." Auggie felt the bed move as its motor whirred and tilted it up, "Alright, you just sit tight and I'll bring you some ice chips," the nurse said, her voice bouncy and…Auggie winced. Chipper.

Annie turned her head to watch the nurse leave, then all the way to look at Auggie. "Where does…she think I'm gonna go?" she asked, a note of pained amusement in her voice.

Auggie smiled sadly at her, squeezing her hand gently. "Room's all spinny, Auggie," Annie told him, her head dropping back on her pillow. "Everything's moving funny."

"It's the anaesthetic, Annie. It'll wear off, eventually," he told her, unable to keep from grinning at how loopy she sounded.

The nurse was soon back with the ice chips, slipping a couple into her mouth for her to suck on and leaving the small bowl and spoon on the table within reach.

Annie sucked on the ice chips with vigour, relishing the cool liquid that flowed down her throat, easing the parched and itching tissues therein. She fumbled for the bowl when the ones she had were gone, and by dint of steadying it with both hands and one of Auggie's, just to have one that didn't shake, she was able to bring it to her lips and tip out a couple more.

Annie sighed with relief as the ice chips did their job, soothing her mouth and throat. "That's better," she declared, smiling broadly. Auggie grinned at her, glad that she was so cheerful, even if he knew that it was mostly thanks to the drugs currently filling her veins.

Annie drifted in and out of sleep throughout the evening, and when she finally woke properly, Auggie read to her until one of the nurses came to kick him out at the end of visiting hours.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he told Annie softly, leaning in and pressing a kiss to the side of her cheek. "Sleep well."

"Night, Auggie," Annie waved as he left the room, even though she knew he couldn't see it, then laid her head back against her pillow. She had a new drip now, one that she could use to self-administer painkillers (to a point) with the press of a button, and the bed control allowed her to tilt herself up, although she didn't like to sit herself up too far yet.

She laid the bed flat now, the nurse having shut off her light with a gentle admonition to go to sleep, and stared at the ceiling. Things were going around and around in her head, not the room moving like it seemed to earlier, just thoughts. She couldn't stop her mind from torturing her with the thoughts of things she couldn't do anymore. She kept stopping them forcibly in their tracks, but they'd just leap back up and keep on going.

She decided to try the concentrated breathing exercises taught on The Farm, used for guided relaxation exercises. She focused on nothing but her breathing, in, hold and out, over and over again. Finally unconsciousness descended, and, exhausted as she was, she was able, happily, to sleep through the less than subtle ministrations of Lily.

She woke early the next morning to yet another overly cheerful seeming nurse who introduced herself as Jenny, but this one was more welcome – she was offering a bath. Well, a sponge bath. And a shampoo cap, which she explained was a fantastically useful invention for washing hair while a patient remained in bed.

Once the bath was over, and Annie had combed her hair out, it was time for breakfast. Well, not really breakfast, because she still wasn't getting solids, but she had a cup of tea (not coffee…humph) and now she was sitting up, mostly, feeling more awake than she had since she had been hospitalized.

She was sitting, contemplating her legs as they lay unresponsive under the hospital issue blanket. She had watched, morbidly curious, as Jenny had washed her legs for her, including the formerly extremely sensitive (read ticklish) soles of her feet. It was like watching her wash somebody else, until she moved one of them a particular way and it pulled at the injury in her back.

It didn't make sense, she couldn't wrap her head around the idea that they didn't anymore. They were right there, nothing wrong with them, just…no information flow. In either direction. She was still contemplating them when she heard two familiar, high pitched voices approaching, with a more soothing contralto mixed in, trying to calm them. A moment later, three heads popped around the bedroom door, then her nieces ran into the room.

"Aunty Annie, Aunty Annie!" the two girls ran into the room, coming to a stop beside Annie's bed.

"Hey, my gorgeous girls!" Annie reached out her hands to them, squeezing their little hands in her own. "Hi," she nodded to Danielle, her sister nodding back. "Hey girls, how was school this week?"

"Good. We missed you at game night," replied Katia

"Yeah, I missed you guys too. Maybe sometime your mom can bring the game here for us to play."

"When are you coming home, Aunty Annie?" asked Chloe innocently.

"I don't know, sweetheart," Annie replied, resting a hand on her niece's head then ruffling her hair, making her squeal in mock indignation as she ducked away.

"Why can't you come home, Aunty Annie?" asked Katia curiously, and Annie felt the smile freeze on her face. How did she tell this sweet, beautiful little girl anything that would help either of them make sense of what had happened to her?

"I got hurt pretty badly, Katia," she said slowly. "I'm going to have to stay here for a while to get better, and so they can teach me how to do things for myself again."

"Remember, Katia, I explained to you last night," Annie sent a grateful look to her sister, who smiled gently.

Annie glanced down to see Chloe trying to get her attention…by patting her leg. "Yes, Chloe?" she asked gently.

"I maded this for you," the little girl said, holding out a piece of paper, carefully folded.

"Thank you, sweet heart," Annie said, smiling at the little girl, who beamed back at her. She opened the card, the front of which was decorated with all kinds of glitter-glue, to find 'Get weel son, Anty Annie!" written inside. She raised an eyebrow at Dannie, who grinned and raised her hands in a gesture of innocence.

"I made you one, too," Katia said, sounding slightly jealous, and Annie received a second card, this one with better spelling.

They visited for a little while longer before Danielle declared it was time to go or they were going to miss their Brownie meeting, and miss out on helping to plan the jamboree, if they didn't leave right now.

"I'll see you girls soon, okay? Be good for your mom," Annie instructed her nieces, who nodded seriously. "See you later, Danielle," she told her sister, who pressed a kiss to her cheek before shepherding her two daughters back out of the room.

Annie glanced at the clock above the door of her room. Only 10:30 am. She glanced around, and her gaze settled on her computer. Her computer which was unfortunately out of reach, as were all of her books. She tried to reach for it, but quickly gave it up as a lost cause, wincing as she moved back against her pillows.

She looked over the girls' cards once more, then set them carefully aside.

She laid her head back against the pillows with a soft sigh.

"They're beautiful," said a familiar voice, and her eyes snapped around to meet her boss's where the older woman stood in the doorway. "How are you feeling, Annie?" asked Joan gently.

"I'm alright, Joan," Annie replied. Her boss simply raised an eyebrow, looking hard at her, and she shrugged one shoulder.

"As well as can be expected, then," she told her, rolling her eyes.

"I wanted to talk you through everything that's going to be happening on our end," Joan said, taking the seat that up until then hadn't been used by anyone but Auggie. "I want you in the DPD, and Arthur has agreed. We're still hammering out exactly what your duties will entail, you're decent with computers but your real skill is languages so that's where I want to concentrate you. We may have you as a handler on a case-by-case basis, but we'll just have to wait and see on that one. You may well end up teaching some basic language classes at The Farm, as well. Now, as far as your recovery goes, everything is covered. You don't have to worry about anything. And you recieve paid leave as a member of the Medical Leave Bank while you're in here. Now, one last thing. I know this isn't something you want to think about, but it's protocol. The office psychologist will be stopping by to visit you on a regular basis until such time as she decides you don't need her anymore."

Annie listened to her boss carefully, cataloguing everything and storing it for a later date. As much as she wanted to object to the mandatory counseling sessions, she knew they were protocol, and there was no getting around them. She also knew that Joan was putting a lot on the line to keep her at work, even if it was in a lesser capacity than it had been in the past.

"Thank you, Joan. I know you didn't have to do that for me," she told her, smiling tightly.

Joan just looked at her sadly for a moment. "Yes I did," she whispered, barely audible, but moved on quickly before Annie could ask her what she meant. "Has your doctor been by yet this morning?"

"No, I haven't seen anyone," Annie replied. "Just the nurses."

"Well, Auggie should be here in about twenty minutes, I asked him to delay his arrival so I didn't have to kick him out of the room when I got here," Joan gave Annie a conspiratorial grin. "And I've given him the next week off. Don't argue, it's not just for your sake. He hasn't taken a day off since he got out of rehab two years ago. Sitting in your hospital room is as close he has come to a holiday in all of that time, and besides, you need someone here, someone who understands."

Annie bit the inside of her cheek to keep her emotions in check and simply nodded. Joan gave her a last, slightly sad, look, then stood. "I'll be back to see you in a day or so," she told her. "If you need anything, call me, alright?"

Annie nodded, although she had absolutely no intention of actually calling her boss for anything. Joan looked at her knowingly, then turned towards the door.

"Oh, Joan, before you go, could you move the table with my stuff on it over here please?" Annie asked quickly. Joan simply nodded and carefully shifted the table so that it sat over Annie's lap.

"I'll see you later, Annie," she said, and left before Annie could say anything else.


	7. Chapter 7

Annie poked through the things her sister had brought, and decided on a book, for the simple reason that it could easily be put aside when Auggie arrived.

"Can I come in?" a cultured voice asked from the doorway, a dark skinned hand tapping on the frame.

"Jai, hi!" she smiled cheerfully at him, feeling a little bit guilty about her reaction to him the other night. "Of course, come on in."

"How are you feeling?" he asked carefully, eyeing her where she sat in the bed. "You're looking a bit better."

Annie's smile dimmed a little, but she forced herself to remain upbeat. "Feeling a bit better. Some of the drugs are wearing off now, I'm more…awake, I guess. How are things going at the office?"

"Busy," Jai replied as he sat in the seat by her bed. "Everyone misses you, too. I'm surprised this room isn't packed with flowers, the way people are talking."

They sat in uncomfortable silence, neither sure exactly what to say. Jai's conversations with Annie had always been related to one of two things: work or flirting. He didn't feel that flirting was in any way appropriate, and work wasn't really something they could discuss with impunity in their current setting.

Annie could tell already that one of their usual non-work related conversations was not going to be the outcome of this uncomfortable silence, and her heart sank. It was an odd feeling – rejection mingled with inadequacy. She had never really liked Jai in that way, for all she had taken him home for a family barbeque, but the idea that he couldn't bring himself to flirt with her anymore…that stung.

Jai was looking desperately for inspiration to restart the conversation, and his eyes landed on the book on the table in front of Annie. "Oh, I haven't read that one yet, is it good?" he asked quickly, looking up at her. "I've read the earlier ones, but I haven't had the time to grab that one yet."

"Well, the guy is a genius," Annie replied with a soft grin, picking up the book and turning it over in her hands. "He's my guilty pleasure. Although I have to say, he's sort of funnier to read in Spanish, but that could just be a linguist thing."

"Terry Pratchett is hilarious in any language, I'm sure," Jai told her warmly. "My personal favourite is Mort, what about you?"

"I like Death," she replied after a moments consideration. "Although Mort's daughter, whose name currently escapes me, is also hilarious."

"Good taste," approved Jai with a serious nod. They spent the next fifteen minutes in conversation regarding the bizarre mind of that genius of spoof fiction, until Auggie showed up. By that point they had both agreed that the best part of the books was definitely the random 'footnotes' that were inserted throughout the books to give the reader 'insight' into the culture.

"It was nice catching up with you, Annie," Jai excused himself when Auggie arrived. "I'll see you soon, okay?" He patted her shoulder slightly awkwardly, then left the room without a backward glance,

"Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt," Auggie apologised.

Annie waved it away quickly. "Don't worry, it was mostly awkward anyway, at least until he noticed that I read Terry Pratchett - which is apparently something we have in common. Apparently flirting with me isn't on the cards for him anymore…" her voice trailed off as that sunk in. Because of the way she was now, he didn't flirt with her. She didn't actually want him to flirt with her, as such, at least not seriously, but…

Auggie felt a flash of anger at Jai, but at the same time a little hope that this would start Annie out of denial and down the road of acceptance. While Auggie was just as happy with the thought of Jai not flirting with Annie any more, he was furious at the other man's shallowness.

"This is really happening, isn't it…" Annie murmured. "I don't understand, Auggie. Why?" Her mouth began to contort downward, a preamble to what she could no longer hold back.

Auggie's heart clenched in his chest at her pained question. "I don't know why, Annie. I don't know why what happened to me happened, and I don't know why what happened to you happened. All I know is that it did."

"I watched the nurse wash my feet this morning, Auggie. I was really ticklish; did I ever tell you that? Couldn't stand for anyone to touch my feet. And now…and Chloe was trying to get my attention earlier when they came by to visit – she was patting my leg."

By now, Auggie had moved until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, pushing the tray table carefully out of the way as he did so, his hip next to hers as he faced her, his sightless eyes trained over her shoulder as he waited for the breakdown he knew was coming.

"It's not fair, Auggie," she whispered, tears pooling in her eyes. "I don't understand why, and it isn't fair."

"I know," Auggie's hand trailed up her arm to her shoulder, then over to cup her cheek, his thumb brushing her cheekbone. "I know." A tear slipped down her cheek onto his hand just as he realized that he couldn't actually hug her from his current position, at least not without causing her serious pain and possible injury. He quickly stood and turned, sitting back down beside her on the bed, which was just barely wide enough to accommodate him, and he ended up keeping his left leg on the floor for balance, his right leg stretching out beside hers. He slid an arm around her shoulders, gathering her against his side, and pressed a kiss against the crown of her head.

With that, the dam broke, and she wept, raging against what had happened to her, striking out with her fists until he caught them in one of his own hands, worried she would hurt one of her surgical sites. They sat like that, him holding her against his side with one arm, the other holding her hands in a firm restraining grip in her lap, murmuring soft, comforting words without being able to offer answers to the questions that haunted them both, questions that struck deep notes in his own heart.

Finally, the storm calmed. He knew it would come back again, but that over time it would grow weaker as acceptance took over, replacing the pain as she learned to live with what had happened to her, much as he had. The self-pity could take time to overcome, but knowing her personality as he did, he knew she would not be the sort to cling to it. And he would be there to support her through every step of the way.

They were finally disturbed by a nurse coming in to change IV and catheter bags, a pleasant young woman who politely ignored their positions and moved around the room, taking care of her duties before leaving momentarily and coming back with a food tray.

"We've got some soup for you for lunch, Miss Walker," she told Annie, setting a bowl on the table, carefully clearing a place for it. "It's just broth, really, but we'll have you on solid food soon enough."

"Thank you," Annie murmured, wiping under her eyes. "Could you please pass me a tissue?" she requested before the nurse could leave, and soon found herself in possession of a box. She blew her nose and wiped her eyes once more before turning her attention to the bowl of broth. Forgoing the spoon, knowing that her hands were still shaking too much from the emotional catharsis, she lifted the lid off the bowl then lifted it in her hands, sipping directly from it. It was a lightly salted chicken broth, a flavour she enjoyed, and she finished it, feeling the warmth relax her somewhat.

She was tired, now. The emotional upheaval, all the visitors and the warm soup had ganged up on her to make her sleepy. "Auggie," she said softly, turning her head towards where he was sitting beside her, the hand around her shoulders playing with her hair, "as nice as that feels, if you don't want to be stuck sitting there for however long I sleep for, you might want to move to the chair."

Auggie thought for a moment, then carefully untangled himself and shifted to the seat beside the bed, and operation made simpler by Annie being conscious enough to give clear directions as to the chair's current location post Joan and Jai. He shifted it back closer to the bed and sat down, retrieving his copy of 'Of Mice and Men' from his bag. "Do you want me to read some more?" he asked softly.

"Yes, please," she replied, smiling gently at him. "Just don't take offence when I fall asleep."

"Of course not," replied Auggie, smiling gently before opening up to his bookmark and starting to read.


	8. Chapter 8

Annie woke a couple of hours later to Auggie's hand on her shoulder when a young redheaded woman entered the room. "Annie Walker? Hi, I'm Jess, and I'll be your physical therapist here in the hospital."

"Hi," replied Annie, blinking sleepily, raising a hand in greeting.

"Sorry, didn't realize you were sleeping. Has anyone talked to you about what exactly PT involves? "

"Umm, no," Annie replied, trying to shake loose the cobwebs in her brain.

"Okay then. Now, the function of PT is to slow muscle loss as much as we can, which also helps slow bone decalcification, which can lead to serious problems later on. I know that you're not up to anything strenuous yet, but it's important that we start work so for now, I'm just going to start with some massage and very gentle manipulation of your legs, to stop the muscles from knotting up due to lack of use."

"Okay," Annie replied.

"Would you be more comfortable if your boyfriend waited outside?"

"Oh, he's not my boyfriend," Annie said quickly, smiling sideways at Auggie. "But no, I'm happy with him in here." Auggie just smiled, holding her hand.

Jess just smiled to herself, raising an eyebrow as she watched Annie look at Auggie. She laid the bed back down, and folding the blankets away from Annie's body, she went to work, massaging from her lower calves up to her thighs, and gently manipulating the joints. Annie watched with a kind of bemused detachment as her unresponsive limbs were manipulated one way, then the other.

She knew she had been in shock, and drugged, and things had been happening too fast for her to really stop and absorb what was going on. Now it was truly hitting home as her legs were shifted and massaged and she didn't feel a thing.

She wanted to scream at the unfairness of it all, to throw things and lash out at those around her, but she didn't. She carefully stored all of the pain, the anger, the unfairness of it all inside, keeping a strong grip on her facial features, clamping down as they taught at The Farm to keep those around her from seeing her emotions.

She was unaware that her grip on Auggie's hand was getting tighter and tighter as the session went on. He rubbed his thumb on the back of her hand, attempting to offer her some small amount of comfort. If she hadn't, mere minutes previously, declared their relationship to be that of friends only, he would have pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, but he didn't want to raise any questions in the mind of the therapist, even if he and Annie were both aware that the action was…mostly platonic.

Annie waited for the session to end in silence until Jess lifted her right leg fully off the bed. A hiss of pain escaped Annie before she could stop herself, and Jess quickly but carefully lowered her leg back to the mattress. "That's it, then. It takes a certain amount of trial and error in the beginning to find a patient's starting point. We'll work from here. I'll come back again tomorrow morning." She pulled the blankets back up and left with a smile. Annie waved her out of the room, then fumbled for the button that put an extra push of morphine through her IV, her back screaming with pain from the overextension of the wound.

"Annie? Are you okay?" asked Auggie, his hand squeezing hers as her listened to her breathing through her teeth against the pain.

"I will be. That just really hurt," Annie told him. "Just give me a minute, morphine should kick in soon."

Auggie just nodded silently and waited for her body to relax, waited for her breathing to slow. "Better?" he asked gently, and felt her nod as the movement translated down the muscles of her arm. He debated whether or not to try and get her to talk about it some more, but decided he had probably pushed her about as far as he could in one day. If she wanted to talk that was something else entirely, but healing didn't happen overnight. He should know.

Annie reached for the remote and carefully raised the bed so she was sitting more than lying completely flat, and turned her head to look at him. "What time is it?" she asked, curious, and he reached for his watch, pressing the button on the side, and its mechanical voice informed them that it was 2:45pm.

"Have you had any lunch?" asked Annie, concerned.

"Ummm…" Auggie didn't reply, and Annie scowled playfully.

"Auggie! You should go and get something to eat. Go on! I'll be here when you get back. Get!" She pushed his hand away and pointed imperiously to the door, although she knew he couldn't actually see her.

Chuckling, he complied, stopping to press a soft kiss against the crown of her head before he exited the room. "I'll be back soon," he promised before he headed out to find the cafeteria.

Annie picked up her book and determinedly settled in to read for a while, putting up another wall between herself and her negative emotions, determined not to let anyone see them.


	9. Chapter 9

Hey all, sorry this took so long, 7 exams at the end of the uni semester, yech…I want to give a huge amount of credit and thanks to my awesome friend resourcerss7, without whom this chapter would be nothing like as good. An awesome beta! Thanks hon! Here are links to some of the resources mentioned in this chapter, and one or two others on spinal cord injury and recovery for those of you swots like us who enjoy knowing a lot more than is technically necessary!

www . scribd . com / doc / 8557448 /Spinal-Cord-Injury-Physical-Therapy-Management

www . nxtbook . com /nxtbooks/crf/paralysisresourceguide/

www . pva . org ?docID=685

Auggie and Annie had spent a quiet afternoon together, and he left for the night at the eight o'clock, the end of visiting hours. Even though Annie was worn out she couldn't seem to get her mind to shut down.

Finally giving up, she sat the bed up and swung the table back over her lap, this time reaching for her laptop. She flicked through the stack of DVDs her sister had brought her and settled on a box set of the X-Files. She settled her headphones (a gift from Auggie a couple of months ago) over her ears and settled back against the pillows to watch.

Finally, a couple of episodes later, as she brain began to slow down, she felt her eyes start to droop, then close more forcefully. She shut down the laptop and set the table to one side once more, then laid the bed back and allowed her eyes to drift closed.

She started awake in the dark some time later, an unknown nurse's hand upon her shoulder, her breath ragged, her heart racing, thudding against her ribs, her throat aching with the pain of her screams. It was just a dream, she was in bed…in the hospital. Memory hit her with all the force of a Mack truck and she whimpered again, new tears starting into her eyes as she remembered what she had lost, and what her mind was clearly telling her she could not bear to lose as well.

"Just relax, Miss Walker. Take a deep breath. And another. That's good. You're safe, just calm down. Nothing can hurt you here. You're safe." The nurse kept up the steady stream of gentle reassurance as Annie slowly calmed, drawing in deep, slow breaths in place of frantic gasping, and felt muscles she hadn't realized were knotted up relax.

"That's it," the nurse rubbed her shoulder gently. "Just breathe."

She breathed slowly, trying to push the images from her mind. The utter helplessness as she listened to him scream in pain, unable to reach him, to do anything to help, while cruel, faceless voices taunted her. Slowly she was able to push them away, back into the corner of her mind they belonged in, under strict control. She breathed deeply, reminding herself that Auggie was at home, safe, he wasn't somewhere being tortured while she could do nothing to help.

Once she was calmed down, the nurse fiddled with her IV, and she felt herself falling back asleep. She didn't want to, and struggled against it as best she could, but it was apparently not optional.

She didn't wake again until the arrival of breakfast the next morning, which this time included the addition of jello. She ate it carefully, uncertain how her stomach would react to it, but it seemed to be okay. Not having anything to do once breakfast was over, she retrieved her book from its spot on the table and attempted to start reading once more, but it couldn't hold her interest. Giving up, she pulled over her laptop and started to type, pulling up website after website to see what kind of information she could find about rehab and life after spinal injury.

She found the Paralysis Resource Guide, an online book by the Christopher and Dana Reeve Foundation. She skimmed through a few chapters, and glanced at the list of further resources, before setting her computer aside with an overwhelmed sigh.

Looking around the room for something to catch her attention, her eyes landed on the TV that was bolted to the ceiling. She picked up the hand set that included the call button, light switches, bed controls and TV remote and thumbed it on, then started channel surfing.

She flicked around for a while before stumbling onto a basketball match. She smiled and settled back to watch, enjoying the game right up to the point where one of the players jumped up and sank a perfect slam-dunk. She grabbed the remote and turned the TV off with a vicious stab of her thumb, her head filled with images, memories so intense they felt like the real thing. The smell of sweat and rubber, the feel of the court under her shoes, the feel of the ball in her hands as she coiled and sprang.

She shook loose of that memory but she felt like she was caught in a downward spiral. Every time she escaped one, the next came up, then the next, and the next. Jumping out of a plane at altitudes thousands of feet above the ground, and the feeling of the ground under her feet as she landed. Running her regular route through the park and city, the sun just rising as the pavement pounded under her feet. The click of tiles under her stiletto heels (the ones Auggie still thought were kittens) as they walked together down the hall towards the DPD, his arm through hers, or his hand holding her elbow, the green laser lights of his cane reflecting off the floor in front of them, the smell of his gentle cologne in her nostrils, the sound of his voice grounding her, telling her that she always had one person here who would have her back no matter what, who would believe in her no matter which call she decided to make.

That voice was with her now, speaking softly, and a hand was on her hair, stroking it.

"Annie, Annie, it's alright," the voice was saying over and over. It's Auggie. Come on back to me sweetheart, it's alright, I'm here. Come back to me now."

"Au…Auggie?" she managed to force out, only now realizing that she was sobbing, her body jerking with the force of each gasping breath.

"Hey, there you are," his voice grounded her, as it always did, that calm voice in her ear, there with a joke when she needed it, sound advice always on tap, her best friend. "Try to calm down, Annie. Take a breath, nice and slow. That's it, now out." His calm instructions and gentle hands brought her out of it bit by bit, until she was slumped against him, her breath still hitching in her throat occasionally. 'You want to talk about it?" Auggie asked gently without moving away. He'd joined her on the bed again, sitting next to her with one leg stretched out next her own, the other down on the floor for balance. He drew her firmly against his chest, one of his hands buried in her hair, the other wrapped around her shoulders.

"It…it was stupid," Annie muttered.

"No it wasn't," replied Auggie calmly. "Talk to me, Annie. I promise, it's not stupid."

"I…was watching a basketball game," she mumbled into his shoulder, and an immediate expression of understanding crossed Auggie's face. "And…" her voice trailed off, her throat tightening on the words.

"Your mind started going through all the things you can't do anymore?" Auggie's voice filled in softly.

"Yeah," she muttered, biting her lip.

"Like what?" asked Auggie gently. He'd done his own research the night before, wanting to be prepared for exactly this type of situation, but he hadn't thought he'd need it just yet.

"Play basketball, for one."

"There are wheelchair basketball teams right here in DC," Auggie told her gently. "It won't be quite the same, but you can still play. What else?"

"Sky diving. My morning run. Wearing stilettos and having you convinced they were kitten heels. Walking down the corridor with your hand on my arm."

"Okay, let's take those one at a time from top to bottom…Skydiving is still possible, you just do it in tandem, attached to another person. Same sky, same rush, but with an added bonus." Auggie smirked down at her, and she rolled her eyes ineffectually at him. The run…it won't be exactly the same, but there are ways you could have something similar. Hand operated bicycle is probably closest. Those were stilettos? Huh…must be losing my touch. And we will still take the hallowed halls of…the Smithsonian by storm, I promise you that."

The use of their mutual cover was all the warning Annie got before her room was basically invaded. Her two nieces rounded the door, almost yelling, her sister behind them, trying to calm them down but the laughter in her voice betraying the attempt as not totally serious.

Annie sighed and turned her attention to her nieces, Auggie relaxing his grip but not moving from her side, listening to the conversation as her sister asked how she was, the concern in her voice growing as she took in Annie's appearance. She calmed the girls, settling them in the chairs against the back wall of the room with their shared PSP, then turned her attention back to her sister.

"Are you alright, Annie?" she asked.

"I'm ok, Danielle," she reassured her sister softly. "But I'm not really up for a lot of visitors this morning," she admitted softly, unable to take the girl's energy or her sister's innocent queries. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's okay. I understand. We'll come back another time." Her sister smiled at her, then turned to usher the girls back out of the room again.

"Oh, but, Aunty Annie, we wanted to play a game today, like you said," Chloe complained as soon as she realized that they were going to leave again.

"Sorry, sweetie, not today. I'm too tired. Come here and give me hug, girls." She hugged them, and her sister left again.

Annie sighed as the girls left, relaxing back against Auggie, who just ran a hand over her hair and smiled softly. "I'm here," he whispered, pressing his lips against the top of her head, enjoying the soft cleanness of her hair, even if it lacked its usual scent.

"Thank you," whispered Annie, tucking herself in close to the warmth he offered so freely, sure that he couldn't truly understand exactly how much it meant before reminding herself that of course he did. He'd been there, as he kept telling her, and he truly got it. His fingers were rubbing firmly at her neck and scalp now, and she let herself relax into his hands, and felt her sore eyes closing slowly.

"Sleep, Annie," Auggie whispered. "Just sleep." He didn't make any promises that things would be better when she woke, knowing better, having felt the sting of those empty words. As he felt her relax fully against him in sleep, he smiled softly and kept up the soothing motions.


	10. Chapter 10

Annie sat in the bed, a tense nervousness running through her muscles. Ten minutes. The company shrink would arrive in ten minutes. She wasn't looking forward to this; even knowing that the woman was there to help didn't alleviate the tension at the idea of having to go through this with a stranger, a professional stranger at that, trying to talk to her. Hell, she could only just handle talking to Auggie, the closest friend she had, and even him she couldn't tell everything.

Auggie hadn't been in yet this morning, because he knew she had her first 'appointment'. He had promised to come by after her appointment was done. It was three days since her last surgery, and they had been talking about moving her out of the bed for a little while this afternoon, depending on how she was feeling.

She heard footsteps approaching, and turned her head to the door in time to see a well-dressed woman in her late thirties with dirty blond hair pulled back in a loose bun enter the room, closing the door behind her.

"Hi, Annie, I'm Doctor Daniels, but please call me Cheryl," she said, stepping to the bed and holding out her hand to shake with a genuinely friendly smile, and Annie felt a tiny amount of the fear melt away.

"Hi,' Annie mumbled, feeling shyer than she ever had on one of her (numerous) first days at a new school. She didn't want to like this woman, but she already tell that Cheryl was the sort of person she could easily get along with.

"So," said Cheryl, pulling the chair down to the foot of the bed so they could sit facing each other without Annie feeling crowded, tucking her briefcase under the bed, "How are you feeling?"

"I don't really know," Annie said slowly.

"Let's start off easy – how are you feeling physically?"

"Tired and sore, but better than I was," she replied softly, avoiding the doctor's eyes.

"How have you been sleeping?"

"Alright, I suppose," Annie said slowly, uncertain what this woman wanted to hear.

"Any nightmares?" the query was gentle, caring, but Annie had to keep herself from physically flinching.

The nightmares were coming more and more often; last night she had woken no less than six times to find that the nightmare didn't actually end when she opened her eyes. Simple things that she had taken for granted just weren't possible anymore; before when she had nightmares she would either toss and turn to find a cold place in her bed or she would get up and do some form of exercise; Tai Chi or something similar. She wasn't even able to turn over her pillow without assistance, and she felt guilty for asking the nurses to do that in the middle of the night. At least she seemed to have mastered the art of silent dreaming – she no longer woke up to a nurses hand on her shoulder and a sedative in her drip.

"Some," Annie offered guardedly when she realized she hadn't actually answered the question yet.

"They're to be expected; your mind is adapting to a huge life change and it's trying to figure things out using your subconscious. If they keep you from sleeping too much, though, we might want to look at some medication for that. Not just yet though, I think." Cheryl pursed her lips. "How are your family taking the news?" This, she had found, was often telling in how a patient would eventually cope, because, generally, a patient's family reacted to events the same way they would but in a much faster way.

"My sister's been by a few times, brought her girls to visit," Annie gestured to the glittery cards on the bench at the side of the room. "She's pretty upset, but trying not to let me see it. My parents…I actually haven't spoken to them yet, I don't know what to say, and I don't know if my sister has or not."

"Okay. Now, you know what the next months are going to entail?" asked the psychologist, leaning forward. She wanted to hear what Annie understood of how things would go from here, because hearing her articulate it would also give her a sense of how she was feeling about it.

"I start getting out of bed, this afternoon hopefully, and over the next couple of weeks I'll start on more intensive physio here in preparation for going to the rehab center, to be sure my body's up to the strain. At the rehab centre, I'll basically learn how to do everything over again, everything I need to live and work and…everything." She finished with a shrug. "Then I guess I find an apartment, go back to work and get on with my life, or what's left of it."

"That's a fairly accurate summation, as far as it goes," agreed Cheryl. "Well, our time for today is just about up, but I'll be back to see you in two days and we'll talk more then." There came a gentle tap on the door and Cheryl stood, opening it. "Auggie, how nice to see you again," she smiled, genuine pleasure in her voice.

"Cheryl, I didn't know they'd assigned you to Annie," Auggie replied, smiling as he held out a hand, which the therapist gave a quick shake.

"Well, I'm just on my way out, I'll see you both soon, I'm sure." Turning back to the bed, she smiled and raised a hand to Annie, who waved in return, then she slipped out of the door past Auggie.

"Hey, Annie," Auggie's voice was gentle, soft. "How are you feeling?"

"'m okay, Auggie," she murmured, turning her head to look at him in the doorway. "You know Cheryl?"

"Yeah, she was my therapist after Tikrit," Auggie replied softly as he made to move into the room.

"Oh, she moved your chair," Annie said quickly, and Auggie paused, carefully swinging his cane around in a full arc, attempting to locate the missing seat. "It's at your five o'clock, two more steps in front of you – by the foot of the bed."

"Thanks," Auggie said, moving into the room and quickly locating the chair, pulling it back up to its normal position and sitting down facing Annie. "So, how are you feeling, really?"

"Rung out," Annie admitted softy. "It wasn't even particularly tough, but I guess I was just so nervous that I exhausted myself anyway."

"Yeah, I remember that feeling," Auggie agreed, thinking back to his own first session with the therapist. He'd felt like a limp rag by the end of it, and it hadn't been the toughest session he'd faced, by far.

Annie sat in silence for a long moment, thinking, then turned her head to look at her friend. "I hate this," she muttered to him, and he nodded silent acknowledgement.

"So," he said, tone upbeat as he tried to turn both the conversation and her mood around. "Are you ready to get out of that bed?"

"Oh, god, yes," she grinned suddenly, her tone raw longing.

Auggie chuckled and raised her hand to his lips, brushing a kiss along her knuckles. "Patience is a virtue, my dear," he reminded her, and she groaned at his over the top RP English accent.

"Whatever, you're not the one stuck in bed sucking all your meals through a straw," she groused back, even as her cheeks stained red from the kiss.

"Been there, done that," he grinned at her, his boyish expression startling a giggle out of her and pulling her right out of her bad mood. "Now, what shall we do to pass the time?"

"Oh, I have chess," Annie grinned, remembering the board that her sister had brought for her, glad to be able to surprise Auggie. She reached out only to find, to her frustration, the table was just out of reach. "Damn it," she muttered, fingers twitching as though she could pull the table, and its contents, closer by use of the force.

"What's wrong?" asked Auggie, and Annie growled.

"I can't reach the table, the nurses keep moving it around and it's just out of reach!" The frustration in her voice was a palpable force, and Auggie's eyes closed against the anger in it.

He took a long, slow breath, then another, hoping that the pattern would pass on to Annie, who he knew was as ready to explode as a dry powder keg, and that this could easily be the trigger that made her blow.

Annie felt the rage and frustration at her hopelessness, her uselessness, rise, and all she really wanted to do was scream, but at the same time she didn't, she didn't want to scream, knew that screaming was pointless and wouldn't actually make her feel better. She fought against the temptation, trying to slow her breathing, and she became aware, slowly, of the soft, rhythmic sound coming from her handler, and found herself matching her breathing to his, anchoring herself with the sound as she would anchor herself to his voice in her ear during a particularly stressful moment. Slowly, the anger receded until she was calm again.

"Thanks," she mumbled, and Auggie just nodded before he stood and made his way around the bed, his right hand sliding along the blanket, keeping him oriented, while his left swept the air in front of him, looking for the table. He found it just as he came round the foot of the bed, and carefully propelled it forwards and in, towards the bed. After a moment, he encountered slight resistance, and Annie spoke. "I've got it, thanks, Auggie."

"You're welcome," he replied, returning to his chair by the same route. He didn't make any of the stupid comments people had made to him during his convalescence, about 'see how easy it can be?' when they helped him do something he had been despairing of or angry about. Nothing had set his temper off faster than those little statements, grating on his nerves and making him want to curse them roundly. "So, chess?"

"Yeah, Danielle thought since you were spending so much time here we should have something to do, and she went and found us this," Auggie could hear her opening a box, then she took his hand and raised it to the table, running his fingers over the surface of the board so he could see what she had. It was a chess board, one with raised edges on each of the squares and small holes in the center of each, and the letters and numbers in Braille. She then passed him a piece, a knight by the feel of it, and when he turned it over in his fingers he found the small Braille letter 'B' at its base. "That's not all," Annie told him, taking the piece and placing it on the board. There was a soft beep, then from the board came, "Black knight to E4." "And if you press the button here, it will give you a full run down of every position on the board." She guided his fingers to the button positioned in the right hand corner of the side of the board facing him. "So, shall we play?"

They had finished their first game by the time lunch appeared, Auggie just barely beating Annie and both laughing hysterically because Auggie had come up with an odd rule that stated that whenever you took an opponent's piece you had to tell them a funny or embarrassing story to make up for it.

A couple of minutes after her lunch tray had been collected, Jess, Annie's PT, and an orderly appeared in the doorway of her room with a wheelchair.

"So, Annie, you ready to get out of bed?" asked Jess.

"Definitely," Annie replied.

"Okay, well if your friend here could move out of the way," Auggie stood, releasing Annie's hand and unfolding his cane, using it to maneuver until he was standing in the corner, facing back towards Annie. He heard the bed whirring, he assumed as they lowered it to make transfer easier, then heard her pained grunt.

"Later, of course, you'll learn to do full transfers on your own," Jess told Annie conversationally as she closed the heplock on Annie's drip and disconnected it from the IV catheter in her hand before she and the orderly lifted the blond bodily into the chair. "For now, you'll just have to let us help." Annie grunted acknowledgement of her words, too busy trying not to make audible sounds of pain for Auggie to hear.

"There we go," Jess said as she swung the side of the wheelchair back down into place. "Now, have you ever used a wheelchair before?"

"Just in school, you know when they made us do those 'learning what it's like' days," Annie replied with a shrug.

"Okay, well for today, we're not going to go very far," Jess told her. "You're going to learn to turn and go in a straight line. You'll learn how to handle things like doors later. So, I'm going to push you down to the end of this hallway here, don't worry it's only about ten meters. You put your hands here, on the wheel grips," she positioned Annie's hand, showing her not to grip. "Be careful you don't grip them when you're being pushed, you'll quickly regret it. I only want you touching them so you can see which way each wheel is moving, okay?"

"Okay," Annie replied, determined and feeling better now that she was actually situated in the chair, the pain in her back receding to a dull throb. She concentrated on the feel of the wheels under her hand, carefully memorizing the way each moved depending on the way the chair turned, or went straight ahead. By the time they reached the end of the hallway and turned her back to face her room it seemed like an immense distance, but Auggie was waiting for her in her doorway, both hands resting on top of his cane as he 'watched', his head turned slightly to one side and his face lit with his most encouraging smile, one she'd seen once or twice before.

Hands now firm on the wheel grips, she pushed herself forwards. The throbbing in her back intensified with the motion, but the chair did move, not far or fast but it moved. Inch by inch she made her way back down the hall, panting with the struggle. This was nothing like as easy as it looked, that was for sure. The chair was awkward, square and stiff, and the wheels resisted her movements. She could tell that if she could just get enough force behind it, they would start to turn freely, and everything would become much easier, but she couldn't work up enough speed to reach that threshold, her body too weak to supply her needs, so she made her way labouriously back towards her best friend. By the time she was halfway there she was drenched in sweat and breathing as though she was running a marathon. By the time she drew even with Auggie she was as limp as a noodle. Jess was beside her, coaching her, but all of Annie's attention was on two things – the next turn of the wheels, and the encouraging, understanding expression on Auggie's face as he patiently awaited her return.

"Auggie, I just need you to move out of the door," she panted to him, and he nodded, carefully backing up three paces on an angle, which placed him inside the room to the right hand side of the door, still facing her. She concentrated then on moving the right wheel forwards and the left backwards, and inch by agonizing inch she turned on the spot. When she was finally done, she collapsed, panting, in the chair, needing to rest before attempting the last leg of her journey, the Everest like two-meter trek to her bed.

"You can do it, Annie," Auggie told me softly. Annie suddenly had an image of what his own PT may have been like, learning to navigate a simple hallway much like she was. At least she could clearly see where she was going, and if the wheelchair was stiff, it kept her going straight until she wanted to turn, neither of the wheels turning faster than the other. That image gave her the determination to prove him right, and she pushed at the wheels, not harder but still determinedly, and finally reached the bed.

"Great job, Annie," Jess told her. "Lets get you back in bed, and get you some pain meds, because you must be hurting right now."

Annie just nodded, limp with exhaustion, hair plastered to her head with sweat. Back on the bed, she allowed her head to fall back on her pillow with a sigh of discouragement.

"That was very good, better than most people manage on their first attempt. You made it all the way back to your room in almost record time," Jess told her encouragingly as she made her way around to the IV and started reconnecting it. "The nurse is going to give you a sponge bath, then I'll come back and do your massage. And here we go," she hit the button and the pain meds booster shot of pain meds went into Annie's blood stream. "That'll help with the pain from the strain. You're learning to use a whole different set of muscles, as well as causing some aggravation to your still healing injuries. You will be hurting, but now is the time to start, before you start losing the condition you had by spending too long in bed. We've found that the sooner patients are able to start, the better their outcomes are."

"Yeah," Annie replied, teeth gritted. Jess just smiled, keeping her very real sympathy off her face, and left the room, the orderly following. Once Auggie had heard them leave, he made his way back to Annie's side and took her hand.

"How are you feeling? That sounded exhausting." Her hand was damp with perspiration, and shook slightly from strain.

"It was hard, but…I was out of bed," the tone of triumph, even mingled with the inevitable exhaustion and pain, was good to hear. "I think I need to get a better wheelchair, though, that thing was a piece of crap, and damn uncomfortable to boot."

"Well, you'll need to get your own eventually, but I suggest waiting a while. They'll be able to work out exactly what you need at the rehab center, and help you pick it out."

"Yeah, you're right, of course," Annie agreed. "I just…that one is so bad!"

Auggie just smiled sympathetically. While trying to learn to move in a crappy wheelchair wasn't a situation he could quite empathise with, the simple fact of relearning was one he knew very well.

"Alright, sir, time for you to go and have a coffee, or a meal, or something," a nurse told him suddenly from the door, her voice light with an obvious smile. "We'll be about half an hour, then you can come back in."

"Go on, Auggie," Annie squeezed his hand gently. "You didn't get lunch yet, anyway."

"Alright, warrior woman. I'll be back in half an hour." He stood, and leaned over the bed, running one hand up her arm to cup her cheek and, leaning in, pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I'm proud of you," he whispered, then left.


End file.
